don’t make me shoot you!

i think the lack of daylight is starting to take its toll on my brain and put me in a mood. so take that, and add in some major issues at work, some stupid kid with a gun and you end up with me this week.

i don't normally like talking about this, but the people who know me well enough, or long enough, know two things about me that have really shapped who i am: one, i was involved in a major school shooting where i was held captive and two, i have pretty severe ADHD. try being a hyperactive that has to stay still! it's torture!


everytime something like this happens it drags up a lot of ugliness that lives inside me and i just have a hard time coping. one of the hardest things for me to take are people who think they are somehow experts on the subject weighing in with their opinions, which they like to present as facts, backed up by faulty arguements.

when they give these opinions, you might notice that they like to blame things--video games, movies, guns, drugs, etc. all easy targets. but if you want to know my opinion (and seeing as how i have more experience than 99% of people on the subject, i'd call it an expert opinion), i think they are all just full of shit.

you have children dealing with mental illness and little to no coping skills. you have parents who don't know how to fix them, if they even try. you have peers who are often cruel. you have a society that glorifies violence and values money over all else. there are just so many parts to the puzzle that come into play.

so unless you've staired down a gun and somehow looked past it to have a conversation with one of these kids, then i don't want to hear your opinion on why he did it. it wasn't one reason. it was many--anger, sadness, confusion, loneliness and pain. the problem is not simple and things are not to blame.