bah ram ewe

when i was a little girl we had livestock. no, we didn't live on a farm, we just had farm animals--mostly goats, all pygmies except for "nanny goat". we also had a sheep (as well as other animals over the years, but they don't matter for this story). the sheep's name was "fat albert". we decided to make fat albert president of the goats, because he was big and wooley and that somehow made him better than the boring old goats. plus, goats were hard to ride on accounta they were small and would rather be standing on top of a dog house than in the back field where i could reach them. anyhoo, the point of me telling you this is because at the age of 3 or 4, i could spot the obvious differences between a goat and a sheep, and knew the names for every farm animal...and i'm no genius.

last weekend i went to the zoo. of course i had to stop off at the petting zoo section, because living in the city i get nostalgic and miss my little, furry, childhood pets. so there i am, clutching a handfull of dry alfalfa and trying to coax one of those white, wooley mammals over so i can pet it, when i hear a little boy ask his dad what *that* was. dad replies, "i'm not sure what kind of animal that is." all i can think is, dad are you a frikken eejit? so i answer for him, "this is a sheep." because heaven forbid this 7 year old grows up to be just like daddy, a 40 year old that doesn't know a sheep when he sees one! parents please go home tonight and teach your children what a sheep is. and if you are over 12 and don't know what a sheep looks like, you know how to use google. i suggest you do a little search before your friends find out you are stupid.