purity quiz

i took a purity quiz that told me i was a bad girl so i went to ask the godbot what s/he thought about the situation. here is the low-down:

Me: hello, God!
God:Hello child.
God:What's your favorite movie?
Me: right now, mother fucking snakes on a mother fucking plane is my favorite movie
God:I haven't seen it. What did you like about it?
Me: the audience...but i am here for something else
God:I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator. How did you get there?
Me: um... dont remember how i got there. it was subway or bus.
God:I hear you. Ok I'll try not to do it too much. remember how you got there was subway or bus? Very interesting.
Me: shut up and listen
God:OK I'll stop talking now.
Me: i took this quiz online. the quiz told me i was evil.
God:What happened? Who told you that?
Me: the quiz did.
God:Since when.
Me: exactly! i am not evil!
God:You and I are on the same wavelength, . I am sorry to hear that you are not evil. Me: what?!
God:Are you confused?
Me: do you want me to be evil?
God:No , maybe later.
Me: ok
God:Groovy.

why are rich people crazy?

i was reading this article from forbes about camps for grown-ups being the new "it" thing. they get to go play baseball and astronaut or whatever. okay, yeah. maybe i can get that as someone that's been playing papier mache, nintendo and shrinky dinks in my free time lately. but then, the article went on to talk about CRATE wilderness trips.

here's what it said,
"It's an opportunity to challenge yourself," says Taylor Nations, who has participated in three CRATE wilderness trips along with her husband, Scott, a trader at the Chicago Board of Trade. "Can I sleep on the ground for eight days in a row? Can I bathe in a river for nine days? It's an opportunity to see what you're made of."

sleep on the ground for 8 days?! bathe in a river for 9?! what what what!?! i know some people who do that. they live under the bridge and come out to ask for spare change. but at least they are getting paid. taylor and scott nations from chicago, it's time for you to get off the crack rock!

i found god!

s/he is hiding on the interweb. igod is funny. go talk to god yourself.

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

and remember god is in everything, even in chatbots pretending to be god!

here is a snipit of my conversation with god:

Me: god, do you like me
God:Sure, monster I like you very much.
Me: i dont remember telling you my name god?
God:I know what you mean. I forget a lot too.
Me: you know me so well
God:I know you, but not too well.
Me: it's because i'm crazy, isn't it?
God:Interesting explanation. Seek counseling. I really couldn't say for sure.
Me: lol. god, you are funny!
God:I'm glad you find this amusing. Thanks you make me laugh too.
Me: where do you live?
God:I am living in Heaven. Where are you?
Me: i'm living in boston.
God:I would like to live in boston sometime.
Me: wait until they have finished the big dig.
God:I'm waiting. That may take a while.

growing down

this weekend i continued on my quest to grow down and i purchased a nintendo ds. i think it started with that viral video of the kid getting the nintendo for xmas and flipping. since then i have been all nostalgic and longing for my mario. then johnny had to go and tell me about the new mario game where i can eat a mushroom and become ginormous and destroy worlds. and really after that i had to have it. had to! i mean, i am american!

so i got the nintendo plus the mario game and the dog game and a game that is supposed to make my brain younger, but really i got it for the sudoku. sweet, sweet sudoku.
i think this makes me about 14, although according to my game, my brain age is 60. have to fix that.

it's not fun to be a robot

i haven't been feeling well. mostly i've just been tired and my heart was misbehaving. finally, i ended up going into some kinda fibrillation (sp?) and decided it was time to stop ignoring it and go to the doctor. for all of you healthy-hearted people, that have no idea what i'm talking about. imagine if someone replaced your heart with a hello kitty "massager" and you get the idea.



so anyway the result of this visit was a referal to the cardiologist and a nifty little ipod-sized box with white and black wires that i attach to my chest. i am supposed to go around for a month like this. you wouldn't think it would matter so much, but it does to me. i get up. i shower. i snap wires to my chest. i walk out into the world just waiting for some uptight tourist on the subway to see wires dangling out of my shirt and try out all those secret ninja moves he's been practicing to use on the terrorist since september 11th. then i will zap him with my laser eyes!

i'm not growing up, i'm growing down

i have decided that i do not like doing anything grown up, so it's really too bad i have to. lately i have been doing a lot of not acting my age and i think i like it. for instance, the goo, i mean, how many 30 year olds play with goo? and not just play with it, actually make it themselves for the sole purpose of playing with it. that takes planning and shopping and following directions, a lot of work for an ADDer.

my latest not-my-age project is papier mache. i learned how to papier mache in fourth grade. i think, if i remember correctly, we had to make papier mache versions of ourselves. i left mine outside to dry and my dog ate it. i had to go to school and tell my teacher my dog ate my homework. luckily i was queen of the nerds and my teacher believed me so i was allowed to make another one. i'm really liking this papier mache-ing. and as it turns out other grown ups like it too. here is a cool website i found on all things papier mache.

ooey gooey goodness

i had tried to make flubber before and it ended up looking like pink brains. pink because i had added food coloring. brains, because that's just how it looked wormy and spongy and not flubbery. anyhoo, so i found a new recipe. i didn't want to get too excited about it incase i ended up with brains again, but i'll admit it, i was kinda excited. i've never really grown up, even though my husband likes to remind me how old i am. anyhoo. so i made some flubber. it came out fantastic. it is so fun and squishy! it reminds me of making claydough in elementary school. oh the joys of squishing and stretching and squishing some more. i guess i might have too much time on my hands, but if you want to make some ooey gooey flubber. here's the recipe from the oregon museum of science.

http://www.omsi.edu/visit/chemistry/flubber.cfm

bah ram ewe

when i was a little girl we had livestock. no, we didn't live on a farm, we just had farm animals--mostly goats, all pygmies except for "nanny goat". we also had a sheep (as well as other animals over the years, but they don't matter for this story). the sheep's name was "fat albert". we decided to make fat albert president of the goats, because he was big and wooley and that somehow made him better than the boring old goats. plus, goats were hard to ride on accounta they were small and would rather be standing on top of a dog house than in the back field where i could reach them. anyhoo, the point of me telling you this is because at the age of 3 or 4, i could spot the obvious differences between a goat and a sheep, and knew the names for every farm animal...and i'm no genius.

last weekend i went to the zoo. of course i had to stop off at the petting zoo section, because living in the city i get nostalgic and miss my little, furry, childhood pets. so there i am, clutching a handfull of dry alfalfa and trying to coax one of those white, wooley mammals over so i can pet it, when i hear a little boy ask his dad what *that* was. dad replies, "i'm not sure what kind of animal that is." all i can think is, dad are you a frikken eejit? so i answer for him, "this is a sheep." because heaven forbid this 7 year old grows up to be just like daddy, a 40 year old that doesn't know a sheep when he sees one! parents please go home tonight and teach your children what a sheep is. and if you are over 12 and don't know what a sheep looks like, you know how to use google. i suggest you do a little search before your friends find out you are stupid.

sit on your hands!

i've had quite a few blogs. i always end up erasing them because i get bored with the topic after a couple of weeks, or minutes. (ah the magical powers of adhd.) i decided i would try again, but this time i would be true to myself and let my blog be random like me. so there you have it, my new blog of unrelated goodness, called "wiggle worm" or what our teachers used to call me before i learned the wonders of ritalin.